After the blog and art piece, ‘Diagnosis’, was published last week, the inquiries about my health started; a private message appeared on my screen within minutes; “I just read your post, is everything okay?”; a phone call, “You alright?”; a text, “What’s up? Let’s do lunch later this week so you can tell me in person.”

“Hearing the words spoken aloud is shocking, jarring to say the least. Suddenly, everything in my peripheral vision blurs and my focus is reduced to a small spot on the floor. The spot becomes a hole. The floor opens up underneath my feet and I drop to the bowels of the earth in a fraction of a second. I fall down, down, down into the depths, spinning, twisting, free-falling… I’m dizzy, nauseous, wondering if this descent will end. Life, as I know it, is radically altered. Life will never, ever be the same.”

This painting almost hit the garbage twice during its creation. The first time I felt it had been overworked, but decided to just ‘experiment’ with it, using it as a practice piece before attempting another one. The second time I was about to toss it, it was because I had become tired of struggling to make the Fibonacci spirals appear in the centre. Layer after layer of paint was applied, but nothing seemed to get me closer to the desired result.

There are so many portals in this image; doors, windows, flowers, a boat, the canals… They all fit into my definition of portals for the purposes of this project. They are a means of transportation or transition of some sort. These are just the portals that exist in the physical realm, the ones that are obvious to a viewer. But there are also the non-physical portals that exist ‘behind the scene’ so to speak.

In considering a theme for my Studio 52 project, I was mindful of the need to have enough resource material or reference photos at hand. The theme would have to be sustainable, hold my interest and be broad enough for me to explore. I wanted to challenge myself, artistically speaking, to push out of my comfort zone, since that is where the real learning occurs.